Love you daughter of mine, I love you so much. I know I am a horrible father to you, you never see me yes it is my own fault. Everything I have been through has been worth knowing you are growing a year older. You're alive and I can't wait until the day I can be a father, both of us can be proud of. You may think your father doesn't love you.. This is untrue I have always loved you and can think of nothing more but getting you what you deserve everything I didn't have growing up. My parents were always at work, working to keep me and my brother and sister fed and clothed as best as they could. I am trying to do my best I really am. I know it is not good enough not for my little baby girl.. Your turning 7 on the 30th of this month. When I think about you everyday I do my best to drag myself out of bed. Your dad isn't very well with his health, I am trying everything is very hard for me to do anymore.
I know your mother may have said many things some may be true, but one thing is true with all my heart I love you and will do anything I can for you. I know I've failed am failing at being a father for you. I know you have your grandfather you call 'pahpah' he seems like a good guy, and I know he has already done better job at being a father figure to you than I could ever do for you. Me, your mother, grandmother and grandfather both sides love you with all their hearts. I don't know if your mother has someone, but please be good to them and be good for your grandmother and mom. I hope someday you will read this and understand that I do care. Hopefully, I am still around to see you ride your bike around and join you instead of passing out or not being able to play with you when I do see you.
I remember when you were born 8lbs 14ounces. You were so tiny you had to stay in the hospital for a week after you were born cause of a infection in your lungs. I was so excited and was right there almost delivered you right there in the hospital. Lucky the doctor came in just in time to help you out and cleaned you up. I don't know about your mother but I was so excited I wanted to make many more with your mother. So you would have brother's sister's I wanted as many as I could have with your mother. She was my everything back then, the night before you were suppose to come home. I went home and cleaned up the place and ran around frantically.. I missed the second and third week of your life, because I was sent to the hospital for having my appendix explode inside of me and almost didn't make it. Luckily your mother called the ambulance and I was rushed to the hospital..
When I came out of the hospital I seen you in your crib, I wanted to hold you close and always be near you. I wanted to cry so much missing you and your mother so much when I was in the hospital. My heart and spirits soared up high when I came home. You met my parents your other grandmother and grandfather that day for a few hours.. They had to leave before the blizzard came as they had to go back to work, they were so excited to see you as well. I held you as much as I could fed you and changed you I would wake up at night just to watch you sleep. Crying to myself, I knew you would be the most awesome thing in my life but things happened which I deserved any and all brought to me. The lord works in mysterious things they say, but I don't know about some of the things.
Just know this one thing if nothing else.. I love you my little rose girl.. I love you with all my heart please know this if I never see you again daddy loves you with all his heart and wants the best for you. Which with what I know you are being praised like a princess and giving everything you could ever want. I don't know my purpose in your life, I really don't anymore I have never had a say in anything that has happened. I can't stop crying writing this knowing your birthday is coming up... I love you little one my little rose one..
Love your father,
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